Swingers Party Full Of Substantially Less Attractive People Than Expected

Seattle area swingers demonstrate their club’s signature hand gesture.

Seattle area couple Shayla and Christine Williams stayed for a total of 16 and a half minutes at a local swingers party, when confronted with much less attractive attendees than expected.

“We’ve always had a very open and sensual relationship,” said Christine, “but there is no amount of openness that could have made us stay at that party.”

The couple had hoped to explore Seattle’s sex-positive party scene but soon realized that they’d rather maroon their fellow explorers than embark on a sexual expedition with them.

“The air was heavy with halitosis,” said Shayla, “and the house they threw the party in had shag carpeting that just sort of absorbed the aromas of the various fluids in the air.”

When asked if their desire to pursue a swingers lifestyle would continue, the couple clung to each other tightly and trembled.